I remember standing in line, waiting to see the school nurse, in of all places, the closet of the school library. (I know weird) I was in the fifth grade and we were being screened for scoliosis. Once it was our turn and we were in the closet, she had me do the typical put your hands together and dive over towards your toes. While I did this, she measured something on my back, never said a word to me, or at least I don't remember anything else. My next memory comes from my regular PCP. I remember him explaining to me that everything would be ok; all I would probably have to do is wear a back brace and I would out grow it...he was wrong.
Now I have an orthopedic surgeon and the next several years are a blur but I am moving on with my life. My 7th, 8th and 9th grade years of school I am to be wearing a back brace that is suppose to correct the curve of my spine but I was to only wear it at night or at the least, 12 hours a day. Fast forward some years and I'm starting high school. I had to make a decision about extra curricular activities and either pick ROTC or dance team. At this point in my life I was thinking about joining the military after I graduated. I wanted to be like my Grandpa who served in WWII and ROTC seemed like the right path. I had also loved dance since I was a little girl, so this was a big decision and for whatever reason, I chose dance and I am so thankful I did, because I now know dance saved my life.
Sophomore year: I made the dance team! Oh yeah, remember that back brace I was telling you about, nope, we weren't friends. I didn't like it at all; I mean, who does? But with that being being said, I now have to have surgery; A spinal fusion. A major back operation. Where they basically have to slice my back open from top to bottom and stick a titanium (I AM TITAAANIIIUMM) rod in my back and attach it to my spine. Yeah where's that brace again? Too late now! Also, dance team? Yeah, kiss that goodbye! Dance... kiss that goodbye too. Wait what? I MIGHT NOT DANCE AGAIN?!
Yeah, that's a negative.
Regardless of anything, I had to leave school and be home schooled for awhile.
I remember having to do lots of blood work to make sure I was healthy enough for surgery. I was able to postpone surgery once because of blood work (I had some kind of infection at the time, which kind of made me secretly happy) but it was only once. I also had to donate blood for myself and I think other family members donated for me too, don't quote me on that though. Funny story, I remember on my blood donation day I hadn't eaten anything and I weighed like 100 pounds at that time but I remember my parents promised me my favorite Chinese food restaurant once I was done, so I was good. Or so I thought. Blood work was complete, I drank some juice and we left to the restaurant. This restaurant happened to be on a second story of a building and I remember being so hungry and as I reached the top step, I turned to my step-dad who was caring my baby sister and I said I don't feel..... down I go..... and he didn't catch me! (This is still a running joke) Next thing you know it, I'm in the back of an ambulance, not eating and still hungry. At the end of the day I finally did get my Chinese food, and the waitress was very surprised when she saw us back! Moral of the story- don't wait too long to eat!
Back to the story. Now it was time for me to tell my dance director that I was going to be having surgery and I was going to be away from school for awhile but I would be back. Never in my mind did I think she would tell me to quit the team all together because she didn't think I would be able to fulfill my commitment. I left there in tears. Dance was my everything. I ate, slept and breathed it. First the Doctor, now her? So, I quit. I was done with it.
Surgery Day! I don't remember much about that day but I remember silently crying all the way till they put me under. Then I remember feeling so stiff when they moved me from one bed to the other. Then the pain and the little morphine button. After several days, I remember standing for the first time. That was weird, because I felt so stiff and taller. Then I had to learn how to walk again, very slowly at first. Then I was doing laps in the hallway. Throughout my hospital stay, there was this nurse, I don't remember his name but he was amazing! He would bring me empty syringes so I could fill with water to squirt the doctors and other nurses. For what it was, it was great memories. It was a long process, but I did it.
Recovery was slow. Home school was boring. Walking around the house was boring. What I did remember was Gloria Estefan. I had been a fan since I was a little girl and I knew she had had the same surgery as me. She had Harrington Rods too! So I researched her story as best as I could a watched all the videos and documentaries that I could get my hands on. And of course, listened to all her music. She got me through my darkest time. This was also 1996 and she had just come out with "Reach" from the closing ceremony of the Summer Olympics. This song was speaking to me. Everything about this song was how I felt in my moment. This was my anthem. I knew I was going to dance again. Just like she did. (I'm crying all over again lol)
Once I was able to go back to school, I was happy but I didn't join the dance team. Mostly because I was pissed at my dance director for not believing in me. What I did do is join every other type of dance class that was offered; Ballet, Tap, Jazz and Folklorico to start. The high school where I went also had the privilege of having a program that brought ballroom dance to our school. This is what saved my life. Six months after having Harrington Rods placed in my back, I was DANCING AGAIN! I danced all different styles throughout my junior year in high school. It was finally towards the end of the year when I finally went back to the dance team and asked if I could try out for the team. My old dance director wasn't there anymore, but after deliberation, they decided to give me a private audition. I made the team. I also made the all-star team and got to dance at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!
Looking back now, I think my dance director not being on the same page as me really played a role in me fighting my way back to dancing again and ultimately lead me to a healthy, active lifestyle. And to this day she will always tell me happy birthday on Facebook. Oh and because of my amazing husband, a dream that I never thought possible... I got to meet my hero, Gloria Estefan.
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